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A List Of Single Rich Tech Bros Who Might Date You

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Anyone who says they haven’t at least was just thinking about what it would be like to marry rich is a fucking liar. Many of us likely spend time supposing the fabulous life you are able result if only you had a romantic meet-cute with Zac Efron( while hiking with your dog in the Los Angeles mounds and your pooch runs away straight into his arms … or something. Haven’t put much belief into it ). But a life of glamorous riches with a celebrity comes with the price of fame and red carpet and having to work out all the time. So I think it’s time we replace that celebrity fantasy with a successful tech entrepreneur fantasy–because if you want a partner that can support you financially while you pursue your dreaming occupation of pop culture blogging/ Netflix bingeing, it’d be way cooler if they were also intelligent, inventive, and successful af.

Unfortunately our favorite tech son feminist and Reddit co-founder, Alexis Ohanian, is no longer on the market( one more reason to adoration Serena Williams ), but there are plenty of other viable-ish alternatives out there, and they’re likely online date( because tech ). So get your fools out to Silicon Valley, consider the advantages( besides $$$) and drawbacks of dating a tech founder, and start compiling a list of DM’s to slide into.

Elon Musk: Tesla, SpaceX

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Elon doesn’t actually fly under the radar like our other challengers, and you probably won’t find him on Hinge( regrettably ). But he recently divided from Amber Heard, so he is definitely emotionally unavailable on the market. He operates Tesla, SpaceX and The Boring Company–which is digging holes in L.A. to get rid of traffic, so he’s a total do-gooder and world saver. He’s worth about $19 billion, has been divorced three times( twice from the same female ), and only has six children for you to help raise.

Advantages : All the Teslas in the world, and a good chance he would take you to Mars.

Disadvantages : He runs like, a million companies and has like, a million children, so there probably isn’t much period for snuggles.

Jack Dorsey: Twitter

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Jack is the CEO and co-founder of Twitter and the CEO and the founding fathers of Square( Venmo’s less successful stepsister ). He’s 41 years old and merit around$ 3 billion. He has tattoos and stuff so he was probably an emo child in high school, and I once ensure him speak at a Square holiday party–he’s SUPER into himself. Maybe you’ll be into him too.

Advantages : Maybe you could get him to disable Trump’s Twitter account, for good.

Disadvantages : Twitter has gone through a few rounds of layoffs recently, and his companies don’t appear to have any behavior of ever making money.

John Zimmer: Lyft

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As the co-founder and chairman of Lyft( a company merit $11 billion ), John could definitely provide for an intellectually challenging and financially supportive lifestyle. Plus Uber is the worst, which makes Lyft( its top competitor) the best, right? John is 33 years old, a self-proclaimed nice guy( hopefully not too nice because nobody craves that ), and your mom will totally desired him.

Advantages : Free rides for life.

Disadvantages : Potential pink mustache fetish.

Drew Houston: Dropbox

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Drew is the founder and CEO of Dropbox, that file store and sharing software that somehow still hasn’t figured out how to attain file storing and sharing all that easy. He’s worth an estimated$ 1 billion and sorta looks like a chubbier version of Elon Musk–no, merely me? He enjoys talking about being a founder and he could probably has become a boyfriend/ life coach hybrid if you are into this kind of thing.

Advantages : Unlimited storage for your food pics.

Disadvantages : You would have to figure out how Dropbox works.

Read more: http :// www.betches.com/ rich-single-tech-bros

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