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A List Of Single Rich Tech Bros Who Might Date You

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Anyone who says they haven’t at the least was just thinking about what it would be like to marry rich is a fucking liar. Many of us likely spend time supposing the fantastic life you could produce if only you had a romantic meet-cute with Zac Efron( while hiking with your bird-dog in the Los Angeles mounds and your pooch runs away straight into his arms … or something. Haven’t put much envisioned into it ). But a life of glamorous riches with a celebrity comes with the price of notoriety and red carpets and having to work out all the time. So I think it’s time we replace that celebrity fantasy with a successful tech entrepreneur fantasy–because if you crave a partner that can support you financially while you prosecute your dream chore of pop culture blogging/ Netflix bingeing, it’d be way cooler if they were also intelligent, inventive, and successful af.

Unfortunately our favorite tech boy feminist and Reddit co-founder, Alexis Ohanian, is no longer on the market( one more reason to love Serena Williams ), but there are plenty of other viable-ish options out there, and they’re likely online dating( because tech ). So get your ass out to Silicon Valley, consider the advantages( besides $$$) and disadvantages of dating a tech founder, and start compiling a listing of DM’s to slip into.

Elon Musk: Tesla, SpaceX

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Elon doesn’t really fly under the radar like our other contenders, and you probably won’t find him on Hinge( unfortunately ). But he lately split from Amber Heard, so he is definitely emotionally unavailable on the market. He operates Tesla, SpaceX and The Boring Company–which is digging pits in L.A. to get rid of traffic, so he’s a total do-gooder and world saver. He’s worth about $19 billion, has been divorced three times( twice from the same girl ), and “theres only” six children for you to help raise.

Advantages : All the Teslas in the world, and a good chance he would take you to Mars.

Disadvantages : He operates like, a million companies and has like, a million children, so there probably isn’t much time for cuddles.

Jack Dorsey: Twitter

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Jack is the CEO and co-founder of Twitter and the CEO and founder of Square( Venmo’s less successful stepsister ). He’s 41 years old and merit around$ 3 billion. He has tattoos and stuff so he was probably an emo child in high school, and I once considered him speak at a Square holiday party–he’s SUPER into himself. Maybe you’ll be into him too.

Advantages : Maybe you are able get him to disable Trump’s Twitter account, for good.

Disadvantages : Twitter has gone through a few rounds of layoffs lately, and his companies don’t appear to have any lane of ever making money.

John Zimmer: Lyft

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As the co-founder and president of Lyft( a company worth $11 billion ), John could definitely provide for an intellectually challenging and financially supportive lifestyle. Plus Uber is the worst, which induces Lyft( its top challenger) the best, right? John is 33 years old, a self-proclaimed nice guy( hopefully not too nice because nobody craves that ), and your mommy will totally desired him.

Advantages : Free journeys for life.

Disadvantages : Potential pink mustache fetish.

Drew Houston: Dropbox

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Drew is the founder and CEO of Dropbox, that file store and sharing software that somehow still hasn’t figured out how to make file store and sharing all that easy. He’s worth an estimated$ 1 billion and sorta looks like a chubbier version of Elon Musk–no, only me? He loves talking about has become a founder and he could probably be a boyfriend/ life coach hybrid if you are into this kind of thing.

Advantages : Unlimited storage for your meat pics.

Disadvantages : You would have to figure out how Dropbox works.

Read more: http :// www.betches.com/ rich-single-tech-bros

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